keep thinking of how if I didn't have a flatmate who would eventually start to complain about the smell, I could be one of those people who dies in their apartment and no one finds out about it for weeks and weeks. It kills me that he gets to be running around with the girl he loves while I am sitting alone (and I tried so hard not to be). I don't want the good weather if I have no one to enjoy it with. I have no social life, no matter what I do, no chance of finding a partner, no career, and no hobbies (everything is boring anyway). what am I supposed to live for, there's no point.