sometimes I feel ok but then I remember I have no experience and no way to get any experience that is worth anything. I'm playing some horrible game of catch up but I'm so far behind and I keep giving up so I'm even more behind. I don't know what to do. like, I don't want children, I don't care about guys, I am happy with my apartment and my city and my regular life in general. but the unavoidable fact is I have fucked up by not doing internships during university and not studying something more specific. I'm not soooooooo young anymore and it's only getting worse. at my age it is no longer acceptable to be as clueless as I am.

all I want is a respectable career in the city that I love. a respectable career, a cozy home, con