I hate men. what the fuck do you know about anything? everything is fucking pornified. the whole fucking world. it leaks into everything and does nothing but inflate your already ridiculous sense of entitlement. why should I bother fucking you, when I have to compete with some porn star who would fill any whim and not even ask to be considered a person? why should I fucking bother when you're not even interested in flesh and blood humans? men are so disgusting and they have no clue. you've never had to question anything and you have  the fucking gall to say I'm being dogmatic.

cafe guy didn't message me. J isn't answering (I know he doesn't mean to be a jerk but it comes off that way)

I'm remembering again
those early mornings with such strong dreams
I just never feel that way here. so much simpler and more mundane somehow, but still enjoyable in a different way. that landscape I grew up in is just without compare.
I'm surprised, I was sculpting today and it is adequate? enough actually for some of my ideas