I'm kind of annoyed with myself. I don't understand why I have these feelings for J. we don't have a lot in common, we don't agree on much, this wouldn't work long term and we both know it. and yet, we still want to be together. he'll only be gone a month and I already feel like missing him. he held me so tight for so long today, kept hugging me with reddish eyes and sniffing. I just want to hold him forever even though he pisses me off.