my thesis passed at least thank god. was really not sure it was going to happen... now just have to find a job, and a place to live. both seeming rather close to impossible. göteborg is growing on me, bit by bit- was not initially sold but, it is by the sea. a city, but not too busy. those old wooden houses and all the gardens, a bit hilly rather than flat flat uppsala... I was dreaming a bit. 

L is speaking to me again. I don't know why I am still responding. he was never unkind I suppose, just poor timing? no, I shouldn't forgive that I don't think. but this thing with J just happened so quickly but I don't know what it is... I don't think either thing will actually go anywhere anyway, so what to do? do I have to choose? 

I have so many ideas for art projects. these old cities and romantic paintings, long drives through the countyside, vikings and old gods and the pouring rain, reminding me of all the fantasy books I used to get lost in during the summer... so many ideas and no real time to work on it just now. always like that...