want to have a LIFE here but there is that whole "no personnummer, no job, no job, no personnummer" thing to deal with (esp because I have basically nothing to recommend me)

no idea when I'll have time to study swedish and the thought of my classmates passing me up on it kills me

and also, how to make friends? not that I've ever been any good at it... some things never change...

kind of think I may want to date someone again sometime but idk how I'll ever meet anyone ( I just can't do the "sleep with someone from a night out and then get to know them!!" none of that is fun. I don't much care for drinking or loud music and I hate dancing and I don't want no damn strangers in mah house!!!! also have to know a guy pretty well before I really feel any inclination to be sexual... I'm no prude but it just doesn't much interest me otherwise.) as I don't really meet anyone outside of school/work and why can't I just get to know someone for a while/ be friends first?!?! this whole dating thing is so blah to me.

I'm going to do some traveling next semester, (by request- not my idea! to brussels to see the family, germany to visit a friend, and maybe a weekend trip to luxembourg if I somehow find the time) but the guilt over money UGH!!!

so much guilt