I am so, so sad it is crushing me
there are 15 different things I have to do this is a mess
I didn't quite realize just how stupid I was until I got here
I am also so fucking pathetic
M- he’s my neighbor and he just helps me with everything and he said if there was anything I needed I could just ask-he made dinner one night and was like “oh it’s probably really bad” but it was actually so good and he was so cute and shy about it when I told him how good it was awe and he took me on a little walking tour and showed me where everything was in town and then he made hot chocolate when we came back and when we went to that party he just kind of hung out in the kitchen with me and he kept saying “wow people are really drunk!” in such a cute way somehow (his accent is so cute sometimes) and he said we can switch, one day swedish then the next day english because he has to practice (not fair he’s already fluent I have no idea how I’m going to improve my swedish…) I mean he’s cute but mostly he’s just one of those people whose mannerisms/expressions/how they are is just so endearing/adorable ;-; I think he’s out right now, he usually knocks if my door is open to say hello, and he does this adorable awkwardly hanging out in the doorway thing when he  keeps talking to me, he offered to give me one of his scarves...
I didn't really talk to him today I haven't seen anyone in my hall I don't know what to do to be friends with people, and  I sure as fuck don't know how to date someone (not like I have a chance in hell with this one)
I have no idea how I'll ever make friends I cannot believe how stupid I am this class is going to be an exercise in humiliation that I want no part of, there is no fucking way this is going to work, and no way am I going to learn this language
I just want to cry
or call my mother and then cry, but I have no idea how much that'll cost