it's so amazing- this time last year I was crushingly depressed (and even worse the year before that...) but I'm  ... fine 
I've eaten so many cookies, but I don't want to kill myself?! ha what I just feel ok. a tiny part of it is that I got over the "I want christmas to be just like it was when I was a kid (and am upset when no one else is up for it- I usually end up decorating by myself)" but I've accepted that I probably won't get to see all my cousins, we won't put all the ornaments on the tree, it won't "feel like christmas" because it's just another day, and there's nothing wrong with that! (no matter what everyone else would have you believe). The other part is that I've been so absorbed helping my mom in the classroom, spending time with my cousins, running christmas errands (because all the gifts and food are my job too now) and all the stuff I have to do to get prepped to go abroad in January (of which I still have a lot to do).
but somehow, I've been staying up late but not feeling horrid about it... not quite what I was going for but I'll take it. I still can't sleep, but hey at least the lack of sleep is not making me suicidal, just sleepy!
it's really the same this year but for some reason it feels different. I feel like I've finally broke out, that I retain the self I've developed into when I return home instead of just sliding back.
Still worried about:
1. christmas gifts for people (too late oops but where do I send those packages?!)
2. everything I still have to do before I go
3. my skin is not as nice as I'd like it to be
4. I want waist length hair but it is so hard to keep my hair nice at the ends :C