ok here I am, exactly where I was last year I am disgusting
going to the gym first thing tomorrow morning, forcing myself to do things even though I have NO motivation whatsoever (fuck fuck what am I going to do when I get there I haven't studied for four days I am so fucking fat and disgusting how do I fix this before  I get there, no one will like me anyways)
I just DREAD going to sleep again but I'm so so tired but I stay up anyways
WHY THE FUCK IS THERE NO SNOW HERE WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK THAT IS THE ONLY REDEEMING FACTOR OF WINTER HERE
20 below, 30 below with wind, everything is dead and depressing where is the snow, I have no idea it doesn't feel like Christmas break it doesn't even feel like winter last term was over so quickly and I didn't really want to leave
I have started saying my plans aloud- I feel like if I don't they are just ideas that don't exist my parents laughed but have we NOT been having conversations about me graduating early so you can retire? what, did you think it was a fucking joke because I was not fucking joking this is my life and I am FUCKING DONE living there, not to mention it would save you thousands of dollars and you could retire earlier? why the FUCK are you not being supportive? I am trying to do this mostly for YOU and YOUR HAPPINESS
FUCK YOU