I feel like I have no individuality, no defining characteristics. I can't even recognize myself because I have nothing that is mine, nothing I have created, nothing that distinguishes me from the mass of everyone else. I don't know what is my imagination and what has been taken from somewhere else. I feel like my imagination used to be strong, completely limitless when I was younger. I spent large amounts of time existing almost completely in a world that I had created, an ongoing story that surrounded me always. I still do this sometimes, in the deep of summer when I spend all of my time alone, outside. normally I feel like I can't tear myself away from ~~~inspiration~~- the internet, photos, film, music. but sometimes all of that feels lackluster and uninteresting compared to my own imagination, I have to jump up and move and slip back into my own world. I can't do that while I'm at school and I miss it. I feel like I need to create something but what? I have "achieved" a lot but I have nothing to show for it... (I really feel like the internet is killing my brain. it makes me less imaginative, feel slower, dumber, I can't concentrate/ pay attention to anything? I always say I need to spend less time on the computer, but that's all anyone else does for the most part. everyone! it almost scares me a little. I really feel like I'm wasting my life away but then it sucks me back in I don't know what to do. make a resolution, I guess.)
2 hours a day, max (unless I'm writing an essay)
if I am really tired: take a nap
buy more books (I really miss buying books. I feel like when I buy e-books they just all run together and slip through my mind)
1Q84, in the valley of the wolves (read it as a child, I feel like there were a lot of really great books I read as a kid that I have forgotten now... why did I get rid of all of them?)