I'm so stressed out
I don't know how (if I decide to leave) tell them I won't be living with them next year. it's such a terrible thing for me to do, and I certainly don't blame them if they aren't my friends anymore. I know they won't be, we aren't close enough now, we'll never stay in contact over this much distance and time.
I feel like there is some sort of divide between me and other people.I can never really connect with anyone, and  I don't have a genius level intellect as an excuse...
even though I care about these people a lot, not hurting someone's feelings is no reason for me to abandon all of the other possibilities and continuing to pay tons of money to go here. now is not the time to play it safe?
but maybe if I stayed and was taking classes I liked it would get better
maybe if I wasn't so depressed I wouldn't be trying to get away all the time- maybe I would actually be happier here
I feel like I can't remember, I don't know how I feel my judgement is clouded... once I spend the summer alone without these people I will probably forget about them and not care about having friends. or maybe I will miss being around people so much that I'll come running back here. I don't know
everything looks different when I'm not depressed
could I actually do it?