I think I just need to be left alone to cry for a while. I haven't in forever
I feel like all of these worries and bad feelings are trapped inside but I can't remember what they are so I am just poisoned and sick and I can't do anything about it except try to forget them again instead of half remembering
I need to go up to the pass, and crevasse moraine
I need to see my friends again, a lot, make plans for all week
I need to send packages, fix my phone
I need to fix the textbook situation...?
I need to study more
sleep more
read more
create more
organize
reduce
plan

I'm just always so unhappy and I don't know why

omfg I am so sad upset scared stressed out rn
and I fucking hate that I can't post whatever I want on tumblr anymore
why am I so ugly and stupid :C I love my friends and family but they always make me feel this way
I should have gone to bed forever ago I was tired but now I can't get off of tumblr

yeah so mom isn’t going to be back for xmas

and nobody’s saying it, but grandpa may pass away and then she would stay to plan the funeral and all too

so I’m gonna be stuck here by myself all break…. I better make a lot of plans or I’ll go crazy

no one knows/has planned the family gathering, and none of those idiots would drive all the way out here if I organized it—I might do it anyways if no one else will

I feel completely hopeless and useless. I have no motivation to do anything and I don't really care. I can't fall asleep at night, I can't wake up in the morning, I can't do anything other than sit around all day doing NOTHING. part of me knows that its just the dark that is doing this to me but for the most part I just hate myself for being so weak and pathetic.
I want to go back. the last three months I was actually happy most of the time, for the first time since I was little. I think it was having something to do every day that I didn't hate, and I was never alone, and there was always a full day of sunlight...