It's a good thing I'm not ugly, otherwise I would have no friends at all

I just want someone to care about me, me in particular. more than they care about other people. no, I'm not talking about "true love" it could be anyone. no one likes me like that. I'm invited (most of the time) but more often than not, I'm simply forgotten about or ignored. none of these people will ever call me and want to get together, I always have to do it. it's been this way my entire life. is something wrong with me? I get tired of talking, only to be ignored, and feeling like I'm some petulant child begging for attention. eventually people say "you're so quiet, A" which confuses me, because I talk and laugh with people all the time, all day long; I guess they just don't notice. I want someone to actually look forward to seeing me, and would rather be with me than someone else. someone who tries to be my friend, to help me, instead of just accepting my friendship and support. I don't think K realizes how much I put up with. K, not everyone is going to laugh at your stupid jokes and complement your stupid poems and encourage you all the time and listen to your endless whiny rants and not laugh at you for being afraid of everything and not get angry at you for being childish and petty and not dump you when you take them completely for granted. I'm not one of those kids. I'm not clingy, I know when I'm not welcome. I don't pester people for gossip. no one likes the kid who's trying too hard, so I think to myself "well, that won't be hard to avoid (I'm not that outgoing). when people see me next to K (the very definition of clingy) they'll like me" instead, I just became invisible.
I'm never the lucky one either. M got the better spot today. she's the one who didn't even care! why is she vice president? she doesn't DO anything. I'm the one who does all the work. why couldn't I get the best thing just this once?
I'm applying to several different colleges. I have no idea what to do. i just can't seem to muster the energy or inspiration to write the essays. what am I going to do? I can't write those stupid essays in english or math either. I'm going to do horribly on the IB tests...
F doesn't even talk to us anymore. he's too busy basking in the attention from H and A. I don't understand! H is quiet and weird and awkward, yet everyone seems to be in love with her.