why can't I be pretty? why? why? why does she have to go to my school? (you guys are so cute together it makes me sick) why am I ugly? invisible? I'm not ugly, I'm just not pretty enough, and therefore not at all. G, you don't even know I exist, and you wouldn't ever notice me if you did (this is ok because I think you're a jackass), but why, why, why not. its so unfair. S is just born with a striking face and cooperative hair. so is M, and especially N. it is so easy for them, no matter what they say, they have no idea. I have to try and try and put time and effort into just looking ok, how is that fair?

it is unpleasant having C around all the time. she is so tiny and adorable and perfect. she is feminine and delicate, cute and pretty... everything I'm NOT. and it's just depressing to have a constant bubbly reminder of my height and flat chest and non-cute face and fuzzy hair...