here I am again. nearly 3:00 in the morning. I was doing so well... and I have stretch marks. this gives me a horrible, out-of-control feeling. I want to panic and scream. I am young and thin. I have been young and thin for the entirety of my short life. so why the fuck do I have stretch marks? I need to eat less. I have lines on my face already. they show up when I'm tired. the lines and dark bags under my eyes never go away. no mom, it's not "you need to smile more!" this is how my face naturally sits. smiling requires energy, and I spend most of my time being really. fucking. exhausted. no matter how much sleep I get.. not to mention, how the fuck do you know what I'm like all day? being around you usually makes my mood take a drastic plunge, even when you aren't actively trying to make me angry... and I look like a fucking idiot when I really smile. I'm not ugly. I look fine, I'm just not pretty. I'm pretty in my own way sometimes, but always quite awkward looking.